Overcoming the fear of public speaking
Being on TV taught me 4 things. I was recently invited on SBS Insight to talk about my experiences with Asian parents & why they don't apologize.
If you follow me on Instagram @yourmillennialtherapist or on Linkedlin you may have seen that I was recently invited on SBS Australia Insight to speak about my personal experience with Asian parents on why they don’t apologize…but they bring you sliced fruits instead (this is what the next Newsletter will be about, a deep dive into why Asian parents don’t apologize and how to navigate that).
Meanwhile, you can read my previous blog posts on Asian parents & invalidation Part 1 and Part 2.
The episode will air 29th August 830pm AEST on SBS Australia, you can tune in live on TV. Or you can tune in here or on Youtube after the air date.
It was a phenomenal experience and I will forever look back on it with a grateful heart that I was given this opportunity to share my own experiences.
Now let’s start from the moment I entered into the SBS building.
Each guest was allowed to bring a guest and I brought my dad with me. Even though he didn’t say the words “I’m proud of you”, I knew he was proud of me.
As we checked in, we had to go through security checks. We were then led down to the stairs to sit with the other guests.
There were refreshments for the guests but I was too nervous to eat, I told my dad that if I ate I’m afraid I might puke.
He laughed.
We sat and waited.
The makeup artist came and took me into the makeup room to do my makeup.
When I went back to my dad, he said “wow your eyes look so much bigger”.
I laughed and said “Haha thanks dad, is it not too much makeup?”
“No, you look nice”.
****
Then it was time.
It was surreal for me, walking into the SBS studio where they film the episode.
It was dark and bright at the same time.
There were cameras everywhere.
And lights…there were so MANY lights shined on me and the other guests.
Normally, I would have crept into the shadows like a rat would because I do not like sunlight or bright lights (especially hospital ones).
But I didn’t shy away from the lights or the cameras, because I was there with and for a great purpose.
To share and to enlighten anyone who watches the insights of why Asian parents don’t apologize and my personal experiences with my own parents and navigating conflict with them.
As they sat us down, we each had a microphone on our shirts and a glass of water next to us.
That was when the nerves truly set in for me.
“Fuck, what if I fuck this up?”
“What if I freeze and don’t know what to say?”
“This is TV, this isn’t one of my reels on instagram”
“Can I do this?”
“Fuck”
“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I can’t fuck this up”
“My heart is pumping like crazy”
“I can feel the adrenaline through my veins and my body”
****
That is when I told my INNER CRITIC calmly with my INNER COMPASSION:
“Oh shut up, I get it you are nervous and you have every right to be. But you have worked so hard to get here, to be here. You have fought tooth and nail to be here. You have written so many blog posts and Newsletters in the past 12 months. You know your shit and you know what you are talking about. Treat this like a casual conversation with the host when she asks you questions. Focus on her and nothing else. Don’t think about fucking up. Think about how excited you are about the fact that you GET to share here in the studio, on SBS, to the host, to the world, to anyone who watches. That is a privilege in and of itself. Now calm down and breathe. You got this. Have some water.”
That is the battle I fought with my inner critic who always tries to tear me down. But I refuse to let her win.
I no longer dismiss and ignore her.
Rather, I will acknowledge her presence and combat it with my compassionate self.
It’s no easy task but like a muscle, it takes time and practice for me to get here.
****
The producer Felicity came up to me and said “You look gorgeous Eunice”.
“Thank you” I said.
“How are you feeling?”
“Nervous” I said.
“Okay what can you tell yourself or do that will help you calm down? I usually do this thing with my hands that helps me calm down.”
“The fact that I know my shit” I said.
At that moment, she smirked and I can tell she was impressed with my answer.
“Exactly. Good luck, you got this.” She said.
*****
So without further ado, here are 4 THINGS I LEARNT FROM BEING ON TV.
4 TIPS I LEARNT TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING.
Perspective shift → Turn nerves into excitement
Walk in with your head held high. Turn the nerves into excitement. Get excited that you GET to share your experiences and expertise on the topic
Instead of letting the context of a TV studio, the cameras, the lights and the crew intimidate me, treat it like a conversation with the host when she asks questions. Focus on her and nothing else.
Self-reassurance → I know my shit
You’re there to share your personal experiences, your story, your life. Own it.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have nothing to fear.
You are representing your culture and your people. There is no greater honor and privilege.
Give the audience something they can walk away with- insights, actionable information, perspective, context and hope
Like with any newsletter, post, blog, reel I’ve created for Your millennial therapist, make it actionable, give VALUE. Share what you learnt from challenging the family dynamic. Share how that changed you for the better, moving forward. What and how can the audience benefit from your story.
Your self confidence and self belief stacks up when you have undeniable proof but to get that, you first need to put yourself out there and be consistent and never give up.
This opportunity didn’t come to me overnight, it took months of me writing and posting. It often felt like I was screaming into the oblivion and that noone gave a fuck about what I created. That is the life of a creator and a writer. Get used to it.
Persistence, continued iteration, consistency over intensity, progress over perfection. That is my motto in life and what I live by in my personal and professional life.
The months of hard work, my writing, my website, my reels, my effort, sweat, tears and blood got me here.
Get out of your comfort zone, period. Unimaginable things happen when you do and proves your inner critic and your fears false. They only serve to hold you back. Once you see pass that, that it is nothing but a fleeting thought and a way to keep you psychologically safe, you will be unstoppable.
This experience is something I had to earn, I had to post and create to have something to show for. I had to create a website in order for people to be able to notice and find me. Nothing worth having comes easy, nothing comes overnight. You need to put in the reps and the hard work.
******
It meant the world to me that my dad was able to be there for me and with me. Growing up, he wasn’t there for many of my drama shows and competitions because he had to work. But I’m so grateful I can spend more time with him now.
Thank you, Dad. For everything.
With all the love in the world,
Your daughter, Eunice.
*****
That is it for this Newsletter.
Thank you for being here on this journey with me.
In the next newsletter, we well deep dive into why Asian parents don’t apologize.
******
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