Life is a series of experiments
Screw fear. Be afraid of what ifs. Trial & error is the way to Level Up in life.
Life is full of experiments.
You need to try new things to know if you like it or not.
You need to immerse yourself in new things, experiences, people to know what and who is your vibe.
Don’t fall into the trap of being paralyzed in fear - that you never live your life.
Remember it’s YOUR life. No-one else’s.
Not your parents’.
Not your friends’.
Not your partner’s.
Not your employer’s.
Yours.
It’s up to YOU to live it.
My life and work philosophy is all about self-accountability and ownership.
Because we can never change or control others.
BUT we can change our mindset or remove ourselves from a person or situation that is hurting us.
Therefore.
Trial and error your way through life is NOT a mistake.
Fear, mistakes, challenges, hardship is HOW you learn in life.
By learning, I mean you learn:
What you like vs What you don’t like
What people you want to be around vs those drains you
What you want to do in your career and in your life vs how you don’t want to end up
I can’t tell you how many times I fucked up to be who I am today, to be as wise and open-minded.
And it all comes from… EXPERIENCES.
Some things in life, can't be taught, only to be experienced for yourself.
Think of your life like a science experiment.
Scientists don’t give up after 1-5 failed trials.
So why should you give up just because your job/relationship/friendship didn’t go well?
If you dont try, how will you know whether you like or dislike it?
How will you gather information to know what is right for you and what’s not?
How will you know how and what to improve on?
How will you level up in your work, social, personal life?
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Every failed marriage, relationship, friendship, job, exam isn’t a failure.
It taught you something.
It taught you what to look out for.
It taught you what you don’t want in the future.
Nothing is EVER a failure, mistake, regret, if it taught you a lesson.
And it ALWAYS DOES.
As I mentioned in letter #32 Nothing is ever a wasted effort.
You stay stagnant if you don’t experiment, if you don’t take a risk.
As Dan Koe once said, “Stagnation is metaphorical death” & “Complacency is death”.
Because when you stay in your comfort zone, you become too comfortable and “safe” to move.
As I mentioned in the last letter, if you are comfortable and well fed like a shark in a tank, it removes your desire to hunt for food.
Therefore, you need to remove the comfort zone.
You need to remove your net of safety sometimes (context dependent here).
Put yourself at risk (with reason, please exercise common sense here).
Expose yourself to novelty.
Just to that point where you can tolerate it and allow for meaningful change.
Same idea - a little bit of discomfort and fear will lit a fire under your ass to get you to MOVE and TAKE ACTION.
Too much discomfort and fear will paralyze you.
Life is about identifying the line between chaos and order.
Wants vs Needs.
Spontaneity vs Structure.
Adventure vs stability.
Independence vs dependence.
Solitude vs intimacy.
Life is a dance between both.
Identify your middle ground.
Try.
Experiment.
See where and what your line is.
For example, I put myself in new situations to meet new people despite initial fears and nervousness.
I do it because it challenges me.
It proves me wrong.
It makes me better.
It helps me level up.
I don’t do anything that is way beyond my capability.
Like this thursday, November 30th, 2023, I am hosting an in person workshop for therapists in the field in Sydney who want to learn How to Market themselves to attract their ideal clients & create an additional income source.
I have never hosted a workshop myself before.
But because my previous experiences this year gave me the courage and confidence, I decided to do it.
I went into my first workshop (ever) at UNSW in august this year without ever doing one before.
That is my point.
That is HOW you grow your SELF BELIEF.
You want to go into things even though you have never tried before, because you know you can nail it.
You know you can overcome it and learn how, what along the way.
“Continuing to prove yourself wrong - is the definition of personal growth” - forgot who said this
If you stop growing & improving, you stay the same.
The pain of staying the same or the pain of growing, your choice.
Let’s flip the cards and think in a different way.
Mistakes are unavoidable in life.
Think differently.
Reframe.
Reset.
Challenge yourself.
I promise you - you will end up surprising yourself.
The point isn’t to be perfect, is to convince yourself that you can do it that you go do that and improve continuously.
Zoom out in a year time and you will see compounding growth within yourself.
Lastly, I will leave you with this quote to ponder.
“We create the person we want to be through the self commitments that we keep.” - Steven Barlett
Few takeaways in this letter:
Life is a series of trial and error experiments, be okay with that.
Your life is YOURS to live, not anyone else’s.
Make your choices, you can always choose differently.
Mistakes are lessons in disguise that teaches you what to do, what not to do and it’s telling you what you want for yourself.
Reframe your thinking, you can only change your mindset or choose to walk away, you can’t change other people. It’s not on you and it kinda is (depending on what we talking about ;))
Peace, hope you enjoyed this letter.
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That is it for this Newsletter.
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