Remove yourself from the equation
Stop feeding the sharks consistently. Sometimes, you need to walk away.
Sometimes the only thing left to do is step away.
Because you only get perspective with distance and time.
Stepping away doesn’t mean you don’t care.
But perhaps there is nothing left to do because you’ve given it your all.
****
I was making this analogy to a client the other day.
My family and I were in Dubai for a family trip back in 2019.
We stayed at the most beautiful hotel there for a night, called the Atlantis, The Palm.
There was a huge floor to ceiling long fish tank that had every creature, type of fish, including sharks.
I was in awe at how beautiful that sight was.
I then asked my brother: “How do the sharks not eat the other fishes?”
He said: “Because they get fed consistently everyday, so it removes their need to hunt.”
Deep….. yet insightful.
Bro also said: “Think about it, if someone gives you a million dollars, it would remove your need to work to earn a living. Same idea.”
I didn’t have the wisdom to understand it back then, but I do now.
*****
Back to the point - sometimes in life, you need to remove yourself from the equation.
Because you’ve been feeding the shark so much that (person or situation) that you’ve created their over-dependence on you.
They know you will show up with food.
They know you will be there.
They know you will “fix” everything.
They know they can depend on you for anything and everything.
They know that no matter what they do, you will come back.
Some level of dependence is good.
But if it gets to the point where you are the only person putting in the effort….
It’s time to step away.
Everything in life demands moderation and a balance.
Too much or too little of something is problematic, physically and mentally.
It’s time to step away.
*******
For self protection and preservation.
To not be walked all over on.
To not be taken advantaged of.
To not be treated as "a solution”.
******
Stepping away. Letting go. Acceptance. Giving up. Quitting.
These are things society look down upon.
But no, fuck that.
It’s an art.
There is beauty in knowing when to walk away, let go, accept, give up and quit.
Just because you hustle it out or continue to pour in an empty cup doesn’t mean it’s good for you in the long term.
Most importantly, you don’t get a medal for doing that when others can see its your damn responsibility and accountability to pull yourself out of a situation that is clearly failing you.
****
Sometimes in life, you need to remove yourself from the equation.
There is beauty in knowing when to walk away, let go, accept, give up and quit.
Remember, stepping away & removing yourself from a situation that isn’t serving you isn’t failure.
It’s a WIN.
It’s a boundary you are setting for yourself.
It’s recognizing when your efforts, time, money, sweat, blood are no longer needed or reciprocated.
Noone should be shamed for that.
Ever.
The solution is to stop feeding the sharks.
Sometimes you have to let the world burn (again, context dependent here, please exercise common sense).
Sometimes you have to let the fishes in the tank (metaphorically) fight to the death for food, space, resources.
Sometimes you have to walk away for your own sanity, peace of mind.
******
You do it, not because you don’t care.
Maybe because you care too much.
Because you’ve tried over and over.
It clearly wont bulge.
Ok enough with the fish analogies, Eunice.
Aka.
Sometimes you have to:
Stop reaching out.
Stop fixing things.
Stop enabling people’s bad behavior.
Stop apologizing when it isn’t your fault.
Stop going back to a situation or person that is hurting you.
Life requires you to draw that fine line between complacency and stupidity.
****
And when you stop feeding the “sharks”…
See how that goes.
See what happens.
Zoom out and remove yourself from the situation.
Remove yourself from the equation.
Because sometimes staying in the situation is what causes you pain.
The only way you can heal and protect yourself, is to, step away.
Stop feeding the sharks.
**********************
That is it for this Newsletter.
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