What I learnt as a therapist

I recently came to realize something as I was in the car, it was one of those lightbulb moments…I realized that we all have our own different versions of what is normal to us according to our upbringing, our culture, beliefs and values. For example, one thing that was normalized in my family, to reduce unnecessary noise to a minimum. If we get a phone call, we would go to the other room to prevent disrupting others in the family or if we are watching a video on our phone, we would reduce to volume. This has been an unspoken consideration I have grown up with. I have come to see it as a sign of being considerate of others around me and to not disturb them.

This realization allowed me to understand that when others around me do not share the same considerations, it would annoy me because it was something I’ve grown up to be sensitive, be aware of. This is just one example of what is considered normal to each of us, I can go on with a lot more…

In my line of work, I often notice that clients have this expectation or assumption that their normal is normal to other people. This is one of the biggest source of misunderstanding and potential conflict between people. Because we are so used to what has been normalized to us that we forget what is normal to us may be unfamiliar to others. Connect with me here.

The takeaway I have gained from this realization is to not be judgemental, BUT be curious and try to understand where others are coming from and get to know what their version of ‘normal’ is in a given situation.