What exactly is self care?
Why is self-care important?
Self care is important because without it we will not be able to switch off. Like a computer that needs to be shut off or restart when there is an error, we also need an outlet to recharge from our work/studies. I personally see it beyond that, rather than seeing self care as a lifeline, I see it as a priority that needs be scheduled in. Without making time for it, I will not be able to be my best self in my work, to my clients, my loved ones. I see it as a non negotiable in life because it allows me to continue to hustle. With age and growing list of responsibilities, I have learnt that I need to set aside intentional time to do things rather than seeing if it will fit into my schedule.
How are mindfulness and self-care related (what's the difference and how can they complement each other)?
Mindfulness to me, is paying attention to what you attribute your attention to and how and why. Also allowing yourself to be in the present moment without your mind wondering to the past or planning ahead for the future. This involves having some level of awareness around how certain things can affect your thoughts, emotions and behaviour. To be truly present and mindful is a skill that requires time to master.
I personally believe what we consume (physically and mentally) has a huge influence over us. For example, if we are consuming more negatives than positives, then it affects how we see ourselves, the world and others. One thing I tell my clients is to be mindful of your inner dialogue. Because the inner critic inside of us tends to tear us down and discourage us in going after what we want. But rather than giving into our inner critic, we first need to acknowledge it and ask ourselves - how is this serving me? If it doesn’t its a good time to understand where it comes from and revaluate how you can reframe your inner narrative.
The difference between self care and mindfulness is that mindfulness is being able to truly be present in your experiences and interactions & reframing how you see things internal and externally. While self care is more internally driven, because for it to work, it needs to be something internally rewarding rather than what the external world tells you is rewarding.
Self care and mindfulness compliment each other because being aware of how your lens of yourself and the world can give you clarity. This clarity allows you to look internally of what makes up your identity and your sense of self worth and may help you discover what your self care can be.
What is often assumed about self-care?
It seems like self care is being mentioned a lot but not enough to get into the details of what it entails and what it should do for us. It is one of the things that gets brushed off a lot. I remember hearing it in passing conversations how self care is this thing that allows you be ok after a long day. But self care is more than that, it is not a magical pill. But it is something that allows your soul & mental state to pause and recharge. That being said, it is not a once off activity but its a priority that must be scheduled in to your life. By making time for self care, you are ensuring you can be the best you can everyday at work, at home and in your relationships. I had to experiment a few times to truly understand what self care is and what it should do to help me.
I would suggest anyone who is unsure of what it should do to evaluate - what makes them feel alive or happy. Is there a hobby you once did that made you feel confident within yourself. The purpose of self care is either restorative or it can be purposeful with the intention of allowing yourself excel in something else other than your work or studies.
My favourite selfceare activity is Boxing, it clears my mind and allows me to immerse myself completely in the act. It makes me feel alive, strong and confident during and afterwards. This is what keeps me going in life. It gives me the confidence to go on because I develop strength, focus and an ability to continue despite shortcomings such as (missing certain movements). Its funny because boxing started off as a stress relief for me back in year 11 and over the years it has became a part of my identity.
Self-care can mean differently to everyone. Don’t be caught up with what other people are doing for their selfceare, reflect on what makes you feel restored/alive/confident/happy/satisfied. One thing that works for someone else may not work for you. Find that one thing, and don’t be afraid to experiment, because if you find something you don’t like, at least that gives you information which gives you clarity in the bigger picture.
Self-care can very subjective, but are there a few different types (e.g. for physical, mental benefits)?
Self care is definitely subjective, as I said something that works for someone may not work for another. The idea is to find something that allows you to recharge either physically, mentally or both. The ideal would be both. For me, boxing allows me to recharge mentally and physically. But I love the mental aspects of Boxing because it allows me to do things that I never thought I would be able to do. E.g. growing up, I was taught that girls needed to be polite and reserved. I never thought a girl like myself can take up a boxing class and indulge in feeling strong.
The takeaway I took from my self care is - don’t always believe what others tell you, experiment and find your own path. Your ideal self is out there, find it and live up to your own potential because I promise you, that version of yourself is possible. You just need to believe in yourself and let your self care to guide you there while you pause and recharge.
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