feeling lost is good
Don't glamorize absolute certainty. Glamorize feeling lost.
Feeling lost in your 20s, 30s, 40s?
Good.
Because it is giving you an opportunity to question the way things are.
Because you NEED to question it to realize that the world, the economy, the current state of things is fucked.
It’s giving you a chance to question why it is pissing you off and that you hate your job.
Because it is giving you a chance to explore what is possible out there.
Don’t you see?
Questioning, doubting, exploring in this context is a GOOD THING.
Only if you zoom out enough from feeling lost, will you be able to get to the next level in life.
All my life, I was taught that negativity, feeling lost and uncertain is a bad thing.
I was wrong, they were wrong.
Feeling lost and uncertain is a beautiful thing.
It can get you to the next level.
I previously talked about how and why pain is the antidote in life.
“The counterintuitive solution to feeling lost is to throw yourself into the unknown until you discover something that makes you feel that spark again.” - Dan Koe
Level up your life and start questioning your mental patterns here.
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The answer to feeling lost and hopeless isn’t having absolute certainty and clarity.
Sometimes, it is.
Like when you have a clear solution to your problems, like when you need a specific surgical procedure to fix your health issues.
But other times, your brain clings heavily onto familiarity and patterns, and for good reasons.
What feels familiar and safe has helped us in the past.
But in the modern world, this familiarity is also a weapon that works against us.
E.g. familiarity in toxic love, the endless push and pull chase in situationships.
Or the familiarity in the toxic dopamine hit we get from mindless scrolling on social media.
Or the familiarity in the getting a hit from caffeine, opioids, stimulant drugs to avoid the pain of withdrawal symptoms.
Or doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
You get the point.
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Most of the time, you gain more by going further into the unknown to discover answers for yourself.
Like the last letter, I mentioned going into it without having all the answers.
I’ve recently acquired a life philosophy: “Choose your worst alternative.”
When faced with a problem, sometimes you overthink the solutions that you end up choosing the “safest” option.
Even if the “safe” option is not the best approach forward.
This is where my “Choose your worst alternative” approach comes in.
Compare the two options and ask yourself what would you regret the most?
Regret of not trying OR Regret of failing?
Because if you failed, at LEAST you TRIED.
You gave it a chance and gave it your best shot.
Is it really a failure if you tried?
Because the things you LEARN and GAIN from it is tremendous value that opportunity gave you.
That. Money cannot buy.
You only acquire that value of your learnings through direct experience.
“Some things in life, can't be taught, only to be experienced for yourself.” - Eunice Cheung
So now that I have painted you a picture, let me ask you this:
Would you rather push through and not be your 100%
or
Would you rather step back to recalibrate so you can show up at your 100% at your work, your relationship?
Choose your worst here.
You see…the overthinking and choosing the safest option is good at times.
But other times, your fear is holding you HOSTAGE.
This is why most people are scared of quitting their jobs.
This is why most are afraid to start a business.
This is why most are afraid to fail.
This is why most are afraid to do what it takes to succeed.
Success isn’t about built overnight, it’s about grit and consistency.
“It’s a long-odds lottery ticket buried under a thousand rejections, and you gotta have the grit and the balls to reach down and scratch it.” - Pain Hustlers, Netflix.
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The beauty of capitalism, entrepreneurship and business is that - there is a problem we spot.
The problem then becomes a pain point, a frustration for us that we want to address.
If it is important enough to you or you think you can improve it, you will be motivated and driven enough to create a solution for it.
Or to do it better.
******
The Truth About Me
As you know, I’m Eunice Cheung, I’m the Founder of Your millennial therapist, a Psychotherapist, a writer of this Newsletter, an author of Attack the Root of Your Patterns, a podcast host and a creative.
I wear many hats but I also love that I do because the learning curve is tremendous and would not be possible had I stay employed to a full-time job.
My Story of Feeling Lost
I felt fucking lost when I started work.
I doubted my Masters degree in Psychotherapy.
I doubted my job at an NGO.
I doubted my career choice.
I doubted my life.
But looking back on it, I am so grateful that I felt fucking lost in life.
I am SO GRATEFUL I had an existential crisis about what I should do for the rest of my life.
Because it led me to where I am.
At the time, I thought:
I “should” have stuck it out at my job.
I thought I “should have pursued a Clinical Psychology route instead.
I thought I “should” have been a Psychologist to get medicare rebate.
I “should” have been better.
*****
But now I say this with content, inner peace and joy.
Fuck those “should”s.
If I stuck to the traditional path, I would have never started this Newsletter.
I would have never started my own therapy practice.
I would have never started a Podcast.
I would have never written an ebook.
I would have never been given the opportunity to do workshops at UNSW - talking about Asian Parents.
EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED AND COMPOUNDS OFF EACH OTHER.
I never would have had the freedom to embed creativity in my work and my life like I have now.
I am grateful for feeling lost.
I am grateful for crying my guts out when I realized my old life was not what I wanted for myself.
It gave me a chance in life.
*******
I thought to myself:
Why can’t I get up and make it different and better?
I thrive in practicality.
I thrive and absolutely love making advices practical and implement-able for myself, my clients and to my lovely audience here.
I write about my experiences and the lessons I have learnt in life so I can educate myself and others on what to look out for.
*******
The takeaway here is this:
Don’t fight yourself, if you are doubting and questioning your life, career, relationships. It is a road to discovery and leveling up.
Don’t over-glamorize certainty, settling. Venturing into the unknown is where you find your potential and opportunities that you never dream of. As someone who has lived it, it’s possible, it’s waiting for you. You just need to take a leap of faith and make that jump to the other side.
Courage, self belief and self worth are all things you foster within yourself, with your daily and life choices you make.
Don’t ever give up on life’s and your potential. You have your whole life ahead of you.
Someday, this will turn into my book. I believe in myself to make this happen and collate all my Newsletters, blogs together.
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Final message to you from me :)
Start questioning.
Observe people all around you.
Observe yourself in situations, your reactions, emotions, thoughts.
Dismantle it, why what how?
Get started here for a DIY.
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That is it for this Newsletter.
The podcast version of this newsletter will be up this week, follow Eunice.Co podcast on Spotify here.
Listen to my latest podcast episode on The Art of Speaking up Here.
Stay tuned via Instagram.
If you'd like to get in touch and book in a 1:1 therapy & coaching session, click Here.
If you are ready to be challenged and want to rewire your limiting beliefs, get started with Attack The Roots Of Your Patterns. This ebook will ask you questions that shake you up at your core that you will see yourself, the world and others differently.
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