The Art of Taking a Back Seat

With distance comes perspective. You realize you speak from a point of privilege.

Effort hurts.

Why?

It hurts when you are the only one giving it.

Effort given to the wrong person can leave you feeling unwanted, unworthy and undesirable.

Noone wants to feel that.

It is easier said than done. Especially for those of us who have the tendency to go all in into something we are passionate about.

But life is tough enough, we don’t need to surround ourselves with people who make us feel that way.

So here’s a way out.

As I reach my late 20s, I’m realizing that we all go through stages in life where we realized we have been:

Pouring water into the wrong cups.

Watering dead plants that weren’t thriving to begin with.

Reaching out to people who have shown that they don’t reciprocate.

I can metaphor this shit all day. But I wont.

Don’t Go All In

Therefore, I’ve learnt to dial down my enthusiasm, mellow down my passionate self to connect with people so it doesn’t come at the cost of my wellbeing.

It doesn’t make me coldhearted or a bitch. I’m just a realist. I want to give effort, energy, time to places that is WORTH it.

What I have learnt with any relationships with people is that you cannot go all in. At least not right away.

You can’t continue to give when you are the only one doing so.

Even if it feels bad to let go, do it for your current and future self.

Sometimes it’s not giving up, you are simply switching tactics.

Other times, you simply need to get the fuck out.

Nothing is a “Given”

The fucked up part about human nature is this:

You are not appreciated if you are always available.

You are not ‘valuable’ if you don’t set your own terms to ‘giving’.

You become a commodity if you continue to give without asking for anything in return.

People will treat you like you are indisposed.

People will take you for granted if you continue to give without setting your own terms.

You will get blamed if you stop giving, when in reality, having access to you is a privilege and honor, it’s not a “given”.

People choose to support you and be with you because they want to, not because they owe you anything.

Remember that.

It has been an extremely hard pill to swallow, since both my parents have been givers, but I have faith it will help me moving forward.

These cruel yet valuable life lessons gave rise for my idea for this Newsletter. The art of learning to take a back seat has been cemented into my brain.

Speaking From a Perspective of Privilege

Sometimes you don’t realize you have the privilege to think and speak from your perspective until you realize you’ve lost that privilege.

Your perspective comes from your privilege of being able to afford food, having a partner, having a sustainable income, being allowed to take risks and fail.

Until you lose something like financial support, emotional support, then you will realize you’ve lost that privilege to view life in that lens.

The point of privilege is that you won’t appreciate it until you lose it.

For example.

Buying something without giving it a second thought because you are earning.

Voicing out without fear of being abandoned because you are in a secure relationship with a loving partner.

Being loved unconditionally by your parents until you lose them.

Therefore. Everything and everyone you have is an honor. A privilege.

So cherish what you have, who you have. Because that is what makes life worth living.

I have come to love the process of writing as I go through life, learning and collecting the lessons it provides me with. Not only can it help me and you, I can look back years later and realized how much I have grown.

It’s true when they say social media and building on online is like a ‘public school’.

I would have loved to read a blog that gave me tips and guidance on these life lessons so I didn’t have to learn some things the hard way.

But I suppose without that, I would not be here today and would not have created this newsletter and my business baby, Your millennial therapist.

So I won’t say I regret it. Rather, I will say, I’m glad you are here with me on this journey.

That’s it for this Newsletter.

I appreciate you being here on this journey with me as I reflect weekly on life’s lessons and wisdom as I go through them.

I would love it if you left comments down below to let me know your thoughts and feedback. I am always open to have more in depth discussions about life, personal growth, business and writing. My personal philosophy is to strive to always improve and better myself, even if it’s hard :)

Thank you. Have a lovely day no matter where you are based.

Love,

Eunice Cheung

Your millennial therapist

If you’d like more help, I’ve got your back:

If you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has affected you today and how it holds you back in achieving what you want in life, you can book a therapy session with me Here.

It would mean a lot to me if you Subscribed to my Newsletter to unf*** your mind with me as I go through life’s lessons Here.