Obsession is a double edged sword
Appreciate the beauty & the dangers of being obsessed.
In games, we often find ourselves replaying a level despite repeatedly dying (metaphorically).
Because in the game, we have a clear objective on what to do.
To beat the boss.
The art of obsession is leverage.
Leverage the fuck out of your passion, your interests.
Leverage out of your child-like curiosity.
It can give you the upmost focus to reach the goal.
Obsession gifts you with courage, to shut out the noise and to crave out your own path.
Because you immediately stand out from the crowd with your obsession.
In my opinion, obsession goes hand in hand with:
The art of being stubbourn.
The art of being obsessed.
The art of being persistent.
The art of being consistent.
That is when you go all in to make your dreams and goals a reality.
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Be so stubborn that even when the world tells you you’re an idiot, smile at them and keep at it.
Be so obsessed that you can’t live your life without doing what it is that gives you spark, joy and passion.
Be so persistent that you show up, post, draw, write, run even on days you want to give up.
Be so consistent that you see 52 posts a week because that means you’ve posted once a week within the whole year.
Be so consistent that you have 365 posts and collections of YOUR work, YOUR creation.
Look back on it and you have created a path of your learnings behind you for you and the world to see.
That is the beauty of obsession.
It is an art.
Learn to appreciate what society deems as “abnormal”.
Because we push away what we don’t understand.
But as I’ve mentioned before, just because your path and values is different, doesn’t make it wrong.
Stand tall and be proud of it.
Defer from their normal and define your own.
Consistency. Persistence. Iteration. Perseverance.
These are words that I live by.
I hope you see where I am coming from.
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On the flips side, the danger of obsession is rumination.
Obsession keeps you stuck.
Trapped.
If you are not careful, you can end up spiralling until an ‘outcome’ is presented.
But there are situations where there are no outcomes.
Outcome are never guaranteed.
That is when the gift of obsession turn against you.
That is when you need to have the clarity to zoom out and pull yourself out.
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To put this into context.
In Psychology, there’s a phenomenon called Sunk Cost fallacy.
It is our inability to change due to a prolonged investment of effort, time and love into a person or a thing. Despite factual evidence proving a change of action will be beneficial.
Aka. We’ve sunk too deep to stop. Sunk too deep to give up.
We all fall prey to Sunk Cost fallacy.
It happens to all of us.
Because we don’t like to feel loss.
No-one does.
We all want a return in our investment, whatever it is we invest in.
That’s why we need to pay attention:
Knowing when to walk away.
Knowing when to give up.
Knowing when to change course of action.
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How to combat against the dangers of obsession
Question your own perspective.
Pay attention to your emotions and how it affects the choices you make (e.g. how does resentment or anger affect your relationships)
Gain an outside perspective on your situation.
An outsider has the luxury to see the situation for what it is clearly without bias.
For example, if your friend is in a relational problem, an outsider has the luxury to see it in a logical lens. But it’s impossible for the personal involved to see it in the same level of logic and rationality as the outsider. Because emotions are involved and more is at stake on a deep human level. Logic cannot be used to applied to solve an emotional problem. We’re simply not wired that way, the more you try to do it, the more tension it creates.
Obsession creates insights and opportunities that compound over time.
You become hyper-focused and hyper-fixated on a singular goal.
I recently had an epiphany about myself.
I realized how my all or nothing, passionate personality affects how I make choices.
You see, I’ve always had an obsessive personality where I dive in to something because I am passionate about it. Until I get sick of it.
Re-ordering the same thing again.
Going to the same restaurant again.
Replaying the same game, tv show.
Wanting to indulge myself in whatever I find fascinating and interesting.
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I’ve never fully understood how it impacted my life until recently.
The good thing is if leveraged correctly, it gives me firepower and fuel to go after what I want.
My obsessive personality is great when applied to a context of trying to achieve an outcome, but not so great in a personal and social context as it would be at my own detriment.
Because personal, social, relational life is a different game (with a different set of rules) as compared to achievements and work.
I also realized this trait in a friend.
He has this ability to go all in once he sets his eyes on something, with no hesitation, no regrets.
He likes to go all in on things and not half-assing it.
The difference between him and I is he deals with problems as they come.
I anticipate future problems (to my own detriment), I hesitate, I doubt, I question.
My ability to question & doubt has helped me question the way life is but it also hinders me because it makes me risk averse.
The important takeaway here is to be aware of how your default can help AND hinder you.
Because when you do this, you are bringing the subconscious conscious.
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To wrap up this week:
The beauty of obsession is leverage.
Obsession goes hand in hand with being stubborn, persistent & consistent.
The danger of Obsession is rumination and being too outcome oriented.
Dont sink and sunk to the bottom just because you’ve invested too much into something.
Zoom out, question it, gain an outsider’s perspective and pull yourself out.
Sometimes going all in on something can be a giant mistake.
Sometimes it is the best damn thing you can do.
It’s hard to tell because everything is context dependent and subjective.
Remember. Life is all about moderation. Read between the lines. Identify a middle ground.
If you’d like more help, I’ve got your back:
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That’s it for this Newsletter.
Thank you for being here on this journey with me.
Enjoy your week.
Peace out.