Easy & comfort is our biggest enemy
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The antidote is to do one hard thing everyday to prove yourself wrong.
The purpose of life isn’t about getting rid of self doubt, fear and anxiety.
It’s about accepting it will be there no matter what.
It’s about letting go of the things you can’t control and embracing what you can.
It’s about acknowledging that it will be hard but doing it regardless.
Because that is what makes it all worth it.
These themes are becoming more important to me as I continue to work on myself and work with clients in the virtual therapy room.
I had a conversation with a friend recently, we were at a gathering for shrinks to discuss challenges and themes that come up for us.
We all received a card, mine said
“If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?”
The old me would have wanted to Read Minds.
But now that I’ve been a shrink for years, that is the last thing I want.
I tried hard to think of an answer, but I couldn’t come up with one.
I was perplexed and confused as to why I find it hard to think of one.
Then my friend said - he would love to have the ability of being a natural public speaker.
I remember telling him - if I woke up with that ability, then I wouldn’t be able to learn from the accumulation of experiences and enjoy the dopamine hit from improving from each public speaking gig.
And that shocked me.
It shook me.
I was surprised with my answer.
Because I never thought I would think like this.
Subconsciously and through months of hardship and having my first two public speaking gigs last month changed me.
I no longer want things to just be easy.
I want to earn it.
I want to gain it via hardwork.
Because that is what makes the price worthy and valuable.
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This story feeds into this idea that’s floating around, the idea that we all live in a comfort crisis.
“We need torture to feel alive again, that is why running & lifting is becoming popular” - Zach Pogrob
The fact that things are becoming easier and easier for us, food and ubers can be ordered within a swipe from our fingertips.
It becomes difficult to go through the journey of obtaining something without it being easy.
Remote working is the new normal.
We as humans, are staying at home more and more.
It almost feels weird to leave the house everyday (at least for me).
If you don’t zoom out, you won’t see the “potential crushing cycle of comfort” that modern life has on us as individauls.
“The antidote is to do one hard thing everyday that makes you feel discomfort”. - Steven Bartlett
The antidote, is get out of your comfort zone.
Do one hard thing everyday.
Let it serve as a reminder that you are alive and human.
Prove to yourself that you can do the hard things.
Only then, you remember what life is really like when you remove the “easiness” of it.
Only then, will you remember that nothing worth having comes EASY.
EASY and COMFORT IS our biggest enemy.
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To answer the question earlier, “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?”
My answer right now in this point in my life would be health.
Health (physical and mental) is the foundation of everything we have in life.
When it crumbles, our world and everything we have falls with it.
My mum has had some health issues this year and while it hurts to see.
It also made me appreciate health so much more.
Its made me appreciate the time I get to spend with her while I drive her around, take her to doctors appointment.
It’s helped me slow down from life and enjoy the little moments with her.
At the beginning, I remember thinking I wanted things to get better right away.
But being in a situation long enough, you stop drowning.
You start to float.
I realized the more I wanted things to hurry along and be the way I wanted, the more pain I would cause myself.
So I stopped rushing myself and my mum.
I surrendered to this new slow pace of life with mum.
To learn to be with her in her pace.
To learn to be patient.
To learn to be okay with accepting that life changes all the time.
To be at peace with it all instead of fighting against it.
Because that is how you achieve inner peace.
2023 (so far) has shown me so much and taught me so much despite all the pain and hardships.
But I am grateful for it all.
Because it has taught me patience, self compassion, understanding and so much more.
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That is it for this Newsletter.
Thank you for being here on this journey with me.
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